Some Boundaries that I have used...
A good boundary is a boundary that is spoken with the calm confidence that you deserve it to be respected and met, no exceptions. And hold for the reality that many men lie and disrespect us for them, even harass us for being boundaried, and that just helps us get clear on whether we want to explore sexual, emotional intimacy with them.
Are you clean?
I need sexual containment to explore sexually.
I prefer knowing about your other sexual partners. What is your current romantic/sexual ecosystem?
I am happy to go on this vacation with you, but I need to know that if we go and I do not open sexually, you would be fine with it. i.e My yes for this vacation is not a yes for sex.
You can explore sexually with my best friend if you both want, I would just prefer to remove me from the dance with you as she is a significant social support and I do not want to jeopardize that by mixing things up.
I want you to pull out instead of coming inside me.
If we conceive, I will want an abortion and I would want you to be there through that process financially and emotionally (Women are postpartum after a miscarriage and after an abortion).
Moving his hand away when he reaches for my vagina during making out.
Asking a man to ‘stop’ right in the middle of sex.
I do not want you to sleep over after we have sex tonight.
I prefer the story about our relationship to be shared as is between us.
I have had three outbreaks of herpes since 2019 and do not have one currently. What about you? What is your STI/STD status? When was the last time you got tested?