Age of Empires
I am a little girl whose new object of interest is the video game Age of Empires. I found out about this game while stumbling into a children's computer centre at the local library, a walk away from parents current address in Chandigarh, India.
Nilesh Sir “Come beta, sit on this computer and try this.” He clicks into something that loads the map of Age of Empires. My eyes take in all the pixels.
This small corner of the children's library, tucked away upstairs at Lala Lajpat Rai Bhawan’s sprawling library, has 4-5 desktop computers. A screen with little figures and gold mines, forests is in front of me. I learn by doing and also by watching the other kids around me. Within a few weeks. I am binge-playing Age of Empires.
Jignesh (another boy, who frequents the centre, says): Have you learnt the cheat code yet? My ears catch that and tune in. His friend sitting next to him says, “Nahi toh, bata! Kya hota ha usse?”
“Yaar ek blue rang ki mercedes aajati hai! Aur usse jeet ho jati hai minton main”
Later that evening on my family’s computer, I try the cheat code I had overheard. (Cntrl + Shift + F7), if I am right?!). It felt very exciting to suddenly feel the shiny car zooming around in the medieval period and finishing an army within minutes right when I was about to lose the game. I won, and felt relieved, but also my felt sense of the victory had a speck of unfulfillment, that I could not deny nor shake off. A noticing of how using the cheat code and winning felt less good than the many victories I had earned without the cheat code in my hour-long binges before that evening! It was a relief from the emotional pain of losing! I make a secret and silent pact with myself, only and only if I really, really need it.
Over time, I realise it’s when I get super frustrated and stuck, that I dive for the shiny mercedes! It’s only when I feel a loss in my own capacity to win, that I dive for the cheat code. It’s only when I lose hope, or feel the fear of losing all the levels and levels of upgrades I have done to my little township, and as the King of that township, all too aware of the many hours of mining, and cutting trees, collecting stone, silver, and gold and tracking all the money, and using the upgrades diligently. Each person, building, and technology is being updated slowly and steadily! And when it comes to losing ALL THAT LABOUR OF FUN/LOVE, do I hit (Cntrl + Shift + F7)! five times in a row quickly “yes shiny blue mercedes, let’s have at least 5 of you show up right now and destroy this enemy!”
The cheat code when used only produced one shiny blue mercedes with white stripes. Like a back to the future kinda sense of humour.
The cheat code car looked similar to this model.